Recently I’ve been thinking of the usage of Iron Boots. Exciting life, I know. There are a lot of bizarre items in games and when you start thinking about their in world usage, you can be pondering for ages on the basics alone. In journalism you have the 5 W’s: Who, What, Where, When and Why. We know the What and the Where of the heavy Iron Boots but the rest is a bit up in the air. Gaming isn’t factual but it is fun to speculate so today, I’m going to be guessing the Who and the Why of the Iron Boots.
What kind of person requires the need to sink like a boulder? At first I thought for marine exploration or treasure diving but then the person still needs oxygen! I don’t know how long Hylians can hold their breath for but for the average human it’s about a minute. Perhaps the creator of the boots has strengthened their lung capacity enough to last longer than that. So let’s say 3 minutes. That 3 minutes still has to include the descent and ascent when underwater. By the time you touch the bottom of a lake you have to start thinking about ascending. Link had the Blue Tunic which allowed him to breathe under water like the Zora race. But the way to buy the Blue Tunic in the Zora Domain shop was blocked off by boulders which Link destroys with bombs. Boulders I imagine have been there for some time so I know just by that alone, that Hylians don’t visit the Zora domain often. You’d think garments that let you breathe underwater would be a popular item but there seems to be a race barrier in Hyrule. That’s another topic altogether though.
So we have a marine explorer/biologist or even treasure diver as our main creator. Then you have the fact that the Iron Boots are found in an Ice Cavern within the Zora domain. I know my simple science and I’m well aware water can become ice and since a lot of Zora’s domain has frozen over that makes sense. But why are the Iron Boots in the Zora’s domain? Zoras can breathe underwater. I’m pretty sure they can anyway, they have gills and in Majora’s Mask when you become one, there is no oxygen gauge. My hypothesis is, either the Zoras created the Iron Boots or they took them from the creator as they believe water is their turf and not for Hylian meddling. That leads me to the Why!
If we go by the idea that Hylians created the Iron Boots, the reason for this is kind of obvious. As humans we are constantly trying to explore the depths of oceans so I completely understand why Hylians would want to. But we have diving gear in real life! In Ocarina of Time I don’t remember diving gear. Correct me if I’m wrong though! So they have several minutes underwater tops. That’s enough to get a few samples or collect some fish. I would suggest that hiring Zoras would be a lot easier but like I said, race issues. I’m not going to mention the fact that the sheer holding of the Iron Boots should weigh you down but Link has magic pockets and so for arguments sake the rest of Hyrule has magic, weightless pockets too. That’s a discussion for another Inventory Time.
So the idea that the Zoras pinched the Iron Boots just seems mean! I know they’re quite a high class society in terms of how they appear and see themselves. They have a regal kind of quality. I won’t call them thieves and instead let’s think of a reason why Zoras would create Iron Boots for themselves. My main thought is for underwater construction or demolition. The Zoras live in a water domain and there is a lot of opportunity for housing in underwater spaces. I imagine most of us have been in a swimming pool and thrown a punch or tried to attempt Ryu’s Hurricane Kick from Street Fighter 2. Just me? Alright then, your loss. You feel like you’re in The Matrix but there’s very little power behind your actions. When you push against a wall underwater you can propel yourself quite easily, you see swimmers do it in the Olympics. It doesn’t require much strength to do that. If Zoras were building underwater, the simple act of pushing or swinging tools seems difficult. The Iron Boots would be a great benefit in this situation. It wouldn’t stop the strength decrease but with firm footing you can perform these actions easier and more effectively.
Do you want to know my dark theory? That’s rhetorical, of course you do. Brace yourself. Zora Mafia!
Zora Gangsta: ‘ey boss. That cheap Hylian skimped on his Tuna quota again.
Zora Gangsta Boss: Well I think it’s time for our friend Mr. Cheap Cheep Cheep to sleep with the fishes. And I don’t mean Princess Ruto’s slumber party.
Bam! Reusable cement shoes. Saves the Zora Mafia a fortune! Then after a few hours they just swim back down and retrieve the shoes. Ah, but then the body has no weight to keep it submerged…….maybe not the fool proof business venture I thought it was. I better cancel my Shark Tank appointment.
Anyway, thank you for reading my innate ramblings. No idea what I’m going to do next or even if I’m going to do more of this. I have a few more inventory based speculations in mind but we’ll see. Thanks for reading and sound off any theories you have on the Iron Boots in the comments.